What have I been doing?

Pretty much nothing. And its damn unhealthy. No challenges, no struggles, no life.

I'm not weird. Just feel like pushing myself further. Of course, without much direction or goal, my amount of daimoku (prayers/chanting) has decreased too. My journey towards attaining Buddhahood in this lifetime might take even longer now. LOL. Thankfully, that's not the reason why I'm practicing this Buddhism.

Time to set my life back into course. It's nice staying in the library for hours, or just lazing at home with just me and Mr. Macbook, but life's definitely stagnant. Biggest acheivement so far? I've watched more movies in this week alone, than I ever did in the last 21 and 3/4 years of my life. *applause*

Maybe I was wrong. Life isn't all about just learning and learning new stuff. I'm not letting myself put anything I've learn into good use. Now, It seems more appealing to me, to FIND A JOB, and after a day of work, come back and find some time to do the other things, instead of living that way 24/7.

My past job required 100% of my time & commitment. My current occupation, or lack of, is wasting that 100% - well, except for the time I'm going for meetings and meeting with friends. Conclusion? I really need to have the good fortune to find a job that earns me Beauty, Gain & Value.

Beauty - a job that I like, or find interesting.
Gain - time and money. something that pays and also allows me to 'have THE life'.
Value - somewhere i can learn and contribute back joyfully.

At a meeting today, JY shared, that the most important kind of Courage probably found when we decide to take FULL RESPONSIBILITY - of our lives and the environment.

Are we going to the most difficult places? Are we challenging ourselves at the place that needs us the most? Are we taking initiative to change our environment or simply relying on others to take that first step?

I guess THAT is also the most unpretentious kind of Courage. You'll bound to face opposition/persecution. Because it's so hard for human beings to convince themselves that "I CAN." But that's also the most important courage one needs to cultivate in one's life. At least, I know that's something I need to work on mine.

k. this pep talk is getting somewhere. haha. time for action.
i'll update my progress on tuesday. :D

There are times when we won’t see each other for a while, you’ve got your life, and I have mine. But, all you has to do is smile and you'll have me again. And if we have the time? Tell me everything that's been going in your life. And I shall share mine too. :)