Foolishly removed the birthday notification on 1st September, confidently thinking my own friends wouldn't need reminders to my birthday. Still, the results were un-surprisingly few. Haha.
Nevertheless, i can't be disappointed. Because that's just the way the current world is. Because of the wonderful notification app, many of my friends were able to take this chance to share something i've never knew abt them and how they view me. It was a great opportunity for me to reflect on my relationships with everyone too.
As usual, I know my poor friends are at a loss of what to do with me, when i refused to celebrate my own birthday the proper way. Kinda pity them. haha. But this year has been so significant to me and there had been so many celebrations already, I felt that today, was the best time for me to spend it like a normal day. Surfing the net, sending out my hugs and kisses, having dinner by myself (thou Ailin and Rena were obviously waiting to treat me. :P) and attending the RHQ5 leaders meeting at TBSC. :) Last but not least, a movie treat to 'Sandcastle' from Mr. Hysen. The film has a slow-moving pace. But one part that kept repeating, struck a chord in me.
These lines revolved around the protagonist's late father's love letter to his wife, telling a tale of a man who had returned from the sea.
He was on a search in the ocean, seeking of an Utopia for his people. It wasn't easy. What if he had gave up the search when he was almost there? He found it, nevertheless. And when he returned to tell his wonderful tale, they were too afraid to step out of their comfort zone to believe him. This man couldn't bear to leave his loved ones. Remaining on land until he grew old, never did he returned to the sea. And when he finally did, he realized, that the amount of courage that remained in him, were not sufficient enough for him to plunge back in, and all he could do was to stay by the shore. Are we often leading our lives, just like this man?
Just this January, i vividly recall myself encouraging my friends to chase their dreams, no matter what comes our way. And in a span of just eight months, i feel my own vision blurring in front of me. Due to circumstances, we are forced to accept reality and society for what it is. Are we really helpless?
Ikeda Sensei often praised the youth for taking action towards righteousness, towards lofty ambitions. Many other world leaders out there, are taking the same stand. It makes me wonder now, 'Are they calling out to us, to achieve what they were not able to when they were younger?'
The adults we see everyday, weren't they the same as what we are today? If so, why can't they renew their determination every time they start to lose themselves? What was holding them back? Will I lose myself and become as apathetic too?
I've decided. To give myself one more chance. One more attempt. Even if I should fail, I know I wouldn't live with regrets. And I will never allow another youth to fail due to the similar circumstance I face today.
Today, I wrote a letter. And in this letter, I composed a poem of my determination to my mentor, Ikeda Sensei.
Like a lighthouse,
I will continue to shine my light on the lost ships in life.
Like a lion cub,
I will roar so loudly that the cunning foxes of doubt and laziness will stay away.
Like a determined carp,
I will leap over Dragon’s Gate with all my might.
Like a young eagle,
I will soar and fight all the injustice in the world.
As Ikeda’s disciple,
I will continue to seek out and be victorious, just like my mentor.
