FOOLISHNESS & IMPATIENCE

(reflections typed on 25/9/09.)

More than a month after the incident, I am still having mixed emotions.
This is such a huge turning point in my life.

Many assumptions or impressions changed. And I don't blame you if you felt I was being a pain in the ass.

5 months of internship at MediaCorp Technologies.
I was attached to a place where others had impressions about. I have heard plenty of stuff even before I knew my plight. But not a single moment did I regret going there.

Maybe I felt sorry for myself. Or even pity. That I wasn't given the opportunity to learn what I wanted to.

But I genuinely had wonderful memories interning at Singapore's free-to-air TV broadcast centre. These seniors taught me SO SO much about the real working world. Interpersonal relations, politics, technical knowledge and so much more...I really admired these unsung heroes. Not a single moment can they slack.

Have you ever wonder who ensures 24/7 operations? Even during technical breakdowns, they give in their all to minimize channel downtime.

Did you thought there wasn't anyone on duty during the most crucial period of SARS, H1N1 or even terrorist attacks? Or...has such a thought never ever cross your mind before?

These are the people who made television viewing a comfort and source of entertainment for you and me. Even when everyone else is resting, having their meals or quarantined from some deadly disease, the conty operators are still there, ensuring operational excellence.

I really admire and respect them. And I did learn a lot from them. THESE LESSONS are regardless of the fact if I would ever use the knowledge gained after I leave MediaCorp. Because this special crew showed me how 'humanistic' television could actually be.

Which was part of the reason why I broke down during the internship presentation.

I was really hurt.
I almost lost my chance to be here three years ago.
Many times in between the last five semesters, I felt so tired and struggled to keep up.
After tolerating and ignoring the fact that I would nv have the chance to intern at my desirable destination.
After working so hard to get to where I am.
After putting in so much effort, even after working hours, even on weekends, even working on MediaCorp Day Offs...
...you said all that to me.

-=-

After a month, I finally summoned a little bit of courage to open a few facebook pics that Junwei tagged me during the presentation. Still not enough to view the entire album thou.



I thought I would be reprimanded for been unprofessional, for jeopardizing my grades, but instead, the few seniors in faith I shared this with, shared something even more.

Where has my patience and tolerance gone to?

How could I allow a few words to break down all these efforts I have build up for this long?

HUMAN REVOLUTION!
I must change and improve myself...
Stop holding shallow judgments against _______.

THANKS to all my friends who have been there for me!! :)

"I thought you were going to a wedding"

HAHA.

THAT was what a fellow IIC said to me when he saw us in the CATHAY lift last weekend. As per every HARRY POTTER movie, the girlfriends arranged and book ourselves for THE ANNUAL DATE. Of course, this time, there were more friends who join us and we waited almost 2 years for this 6th installment of HP!

Even though the movie was a little wordy, it was overall enjoyable. Except seeing Ron and his new love interest, Lavender Brown k.i.s.s... One particular portion of the show that i felt strongly for was when Harry had to force the possibly poisoned liquid down Dumbledore's throat and watching him die. The things Dumbledore said made me think of Sensei. Compassionate Strictness, Just and Selfless. Can't wait for the next one! (The seventh book is gonna spilt into TWO films. One in mid 2010 and the finale in 2011! Another long wait...)

-=-

HP aside, this date was special too because we held an ADVANCED BDAE CELEBRATION for Siti! More Pictures and Videos to be up soon.






It wasn't easy planning this and I really hope you had fun, babe!! We could have done more, sorry we didn't~ Nevertheless, we hope this had been memorable and magical for you!!

Thanks for all the love these while!!

LOVEE`zj

Everyone deserve to know where Family is.

As part of Bloggers Unite, I hope to play a small part by this contribution. It might not be much, but someone has to speak out. On November 11th, bloggers worldwide unite to raise awareness for 'Refugees Unite'. Preparation and advertisements have been made by pasting badges on our blogs to show the support.

Fear of discrimination and persecution, for reason of race, religion, nationality, membership of a particular organization or personal political view, people are afraid and unwillingly to remain at a permanent state or area. These people called themselves or are termed as refugees. Many fled from their homes to seek safer land after been discriminated by their own people and there're also those whose homes have been destroyed by war and are forced to migrate.

Fortunately, there are many organizations out there helping to resettle these stateless people or locate loved ones whom have been separated due to similar conditions.

Just yesterday, a guy friend voiced out his thoughts at breakfast, "We should have a war. This world is too peaceful." And as usual, we got into a heated debate, one refusing to give in to another. He had made some good points, related to religion and I don't disagree, yet I was upset by his call for anything worse than the world we are living in.

Yes, he might be happy and at peace with himself, his environment, but not everyone in the world feels that way. Ignorance, even in the smallest sense can cause a whole load of harm. We should never take any minor problem lightly and should always be on alert mode. Let's look at something closer to home. A few years ago, when a number of people fell ill after returning from nearby countries, people were not concerned, yet look at the shock and frenzy among Singaporeans when SARS became an issue.

(*1) When Russia was going through dramatic changes, many succumbed to easy temptations of hatred and destruction. Raisa Gorbachev, the late wife of former Soviet president Mikhail Gorbachev was often pained by such issues. She said, "Is destruction necessary for progress? That goes against common sense. I'm convinced that only that which is constructive can make people happy."

My point being, is there really a need for discrimination and prejudice? If only everyone are able to voice out their opinions. If only everyone could be a little bit, just a little bit more compassionate towards every single living being on Earth. If only people were more courageous, more impartial and magnanimous. Without judgement in others, regardless of their backgrounds, their thoughts, their skin colour and faith, aren't we all in the first place, children of our parents? What right do we have to force others to separation with their loved ones and homeland?

This ongoing issue of those torn from their homes is something that should, and must, concern us all. Why discriminate others when you don't wish for the same to be done to you? Let's search for a common solution and bring hope and dignity to the millions suffering.

If you happen to know someone who needs help to resettle, or someone looking for a loved-one-turned-refugee, do contact REFUGEE UNITE on the first url of the citations below. Thanks a million!

For those who are curious to know more about the song playing on this blog, it's sung by H.I.M recording artistes for the children of the world, especially those affected by the recent Si Chuang earthquake. Below is the translation of the song.

AUTHOR's NOTE: "I found one line hard to understand. The part where we bring roads to the brave, ocean to the ships and return children to their dreams. But i realized, sometimes, when people are incapable of helping themselves, we could help lead them back to the right route in life."

Title:A More Wonderful World

There must be some way, to let people love one another

We didn't come to this world to cause harm to each other

Bring sounds of laughter to the cries of sobbing, Bring warm hugs to those in doubt

Shine light into the world of darkness, bring sweetness to bitterness, and give care to fears

Warm every single heart, melt those that are cold

We can give everybody a warmth and more wonderful world to live in

There must be someway for us to anticipate tomorrow

Since we can't force the sun to rise, why not help at least one flower to bloom

Give sight to the hopeless, give flight to those with wings

Bring roads to bravery, the ocean to the ships, and children, their hopes and dreams

Things unchanged, can be changed just by the aid of a pair of hands

Next time, we'll meet in a more joyous, more wonderful world

Love can make the world a better place, it can reduce hatred and pain

Next time, we'll meet in a more peaceful, more wonderful world

-=-

Citations:

http://www.refunite.org/
(*1) Adapted from Foundation for Victory 100 years ahead - Guidelines for Humanistic Leadership.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/static/in_depth/world/2001/road_to_refuge/persecution/default.stm
http://www.unhcr.org/cgi-bin/texis/vtx/protect?id=3b8265c7a

-=-

LOVEe`

EXCLUSIVE LOVE LETTER THIS SUNDAY, OCTOBER 19th!

HAPPY SHEEREEN DAY!!!



a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you, sherry.darling aka. xiao-yuan aka. the-anorexic-looking babe..


YAYNESS! YOU ARE T.W.E.N.T.Y [A BIG, FAT 2-0 NOW!]

REALLY SORRY I CANT BE BY YOUR SIDE THIS YEAR BUT PLEASE KNOW IM SINCERELY WISHING FOR YOUR HAPPINESS AND FABULOUS CELEBRATION!! but im glad you received the mailed letter..i was worried the Postman would think its too kiddish and reject the mail. phew..

Thanks for being such a wonderful friend all these years and i just wanna let you know i deeply cherish this friendship. I still remember the first time we reunite the first time we went to SMSS to get our secondary one books and our mothers were chatting away about the books we get...haha, it was a funny memory.

Then, there were the 9 of us girls.. Siti, Casey, Lynette, Louisa, Yana, Gaya, Mari, You and me...

There were really fun times where we crazed over neoprints and crushes, like your neighbourhood guy (was his name tommy? haha) and DOLPHIN.. and i highly doubt any of us will ever forget the unhappy moments when the clique broke up pretty badly..

Another reason why i especially treasure this relationship is also because of what happened in Sec 3. Remb how we sat outside the classroom, and everytime someone told you to "Cheer up, dont cry..." you end up crying even harder? haha. I guess we were very very fortunate to retain and join a class where the girls were ever so encouraging and welcoming to the few new 'additions' among them. We found new and (til now and hopefully forever) lasting peers..

I had initially wanted to find a poem you wrote for me a few years ago, entitled "A Friend" but i have no idea where i placed that. [Will scan it when i find it.] Meanwhile, the search for that particular poem ended up with plenty of love letters from you and the girls from past years... I went to read every single one of them and.. almost cried.

You have really been encouraging. When i remb the times you wrote those for me, (on birthday cards, notes during lessons) all the strength and courage i felt on those occasions overwhelmed me again. You might not believe it, but because of those words written with concern and sincerity, i too, wanna make an extra effort for you all, for all my friendships, because i know, i will regret if i lose them. Any of them.

Confession : Something i usually reflect on, after every gathering or even discussed with siti and faiz before was... "I wish I knew Sheereen better."

I know i talk alot. We all do. haha, so i am often thinking, "have i said too much? too much to the point i neglect whatever you wanna say?"

If yes, please let me know. haha.

If no, then...feel free to tell us stuff. anything at all. I get so happy hearing you talk abt your childhood birthday celebrations, dates with your mum, stuff about your bf and even school problems.

im sorry for asking for so much...i guess it's the greed to know more..

still, i wanna thank you for everything you have done for me til now..including accepting my flaws and nonsense.. love you for that. haha.



-=-

hmm, am i starting to crap and bore you?

anyway...Hope Marcus&gang and your family will give you a most memorable birthday and may you be blessed with tons of happy memories and a successful year ahead!!

[the girls and i will make it up to you! I promise!!]

p/s: shit...there are bugs everywhere.. and im starting to get mozzie-itch.

last, not def. not least...here's a TOAST to our ever-lasting friendship and may good health, safety and happiness be upon us all!!

TAKE CARE AND BE HAPPY!!! HAVE TONS OF FUN!! ENJOY YOURSELF

LOVEE`zijing.

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY, SINGAPORE!!

It's October 1st again, Singapore's Children's Day!! It's been so darn long since I had a celebration.

During this week's attachment at Esplanade, most of us are assigned to shows specially put up for this unique occasion. Most of the shows are fully booked due to the local public holiday, Hari Raya.

p/s: SELEMAT HARI RAYA, PEOPLE!

(YAYNESS! NO MORE FASTING WHILE SHOPPING WITH THE GIRLS! :P )

Today, there was a technical rehearsal for one of the kids' show at the Recital Studio. After the sound check and fixing of wireless mics on the performers, I sat down on the colourful alphabet mat and played one of the audience.

Singing and dancing along to the familiar childhood songs, I suddenly recall a short but vivid celebration. I must have been in kindergarten and some of us gather to give out the candy bags our mothers had wrapped for our friends.

As I was typing the previous paragraph, another memory surfaced. In primary six, our form teacher Mrs Wong had baked us chicken pies. It was the last Children's day celebration for all of us and Mrs Wong made sure we all had a pie. I remember her saying she would always bake them for their form class of the year. And I remembered how emotional and grateful we were to receive that, because Mrs Wong had contacted shingles and we all thought she was going to die. I mean, most people died because of that disease. I'm not saying we love her to bits. She is one of the fiercest teachers I ever had, but we respected her.

-=-

Woah. I am amazed I recalled all that. I have a really poor memory of my childhood. Haha, selective memory, they say.

And this year, I had looked forward to visiting Soka Kindergarten. After the independence camp with the K2s, I find myself missing these children so much! UNFORTUNATELY, I just remb it's a public holiday tomorrow, hence, I won't be able to celebrate with them. Maybe Laurel and I will visit SK on thursday, before my attachment at 2pm.

Here's the ending...

Declaration of the Rights of the Child (EVERY CHILD)

1. The child must be given the means requisite for its normal development, both materially and spiritually.

2. The child that is hungry must be fed, the child that is sick must be nursed, the child that is backward must be helped, the delinquent child must be reclaimed, and the orphan and the waif must be sheltered and succoured.

3. The child must be the first to receive relief in times of distress.

4. The child must be put in a position to earn a livelihood, and must be protected against every form of exploitation.

5. The child must be brought up in the consciousness that its talents must be devoted to the service of its fellow men.

-=-

Let's be nice young people and encourage every child we see to be happy, k?!

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY, LOVES!!

^.^