Running Away

That had been all I did for the last few months. I hate feeling so lousy and sorry for myself. And thankfully, I have wonderful people in my life.

Every morning, I wake up with messages waiting to encourage me, how to not flinch at my problems, but forge ahead, overcome it and move on. Thanks for all the love. I feel so shameful. :P All the complaining. How painful your ears must have felt all this while..but you guys still stayed on. Thank you for that.

Of course, there are others, whom I understand, couldn't be there physically for me. But looking at your photos, reading what's going on in your life from FB (Siti...) and from publications (Ikeda Sensei, ZhenWei, Peicong, Van...etc), I know I'm not fighting this battle alone. :)

A lot happened today. Small incidents that shook me up.
A friend wasn't feeling well. I didn't realized it and all along I was beside her~ Sorry. :( Another girlfriend had an ultra-unlucky day. But a little gift can cheer her up so much.

On the way home, a friend thanked me for a msg. Just a small greeting that made his day. Well, it made mine too. These stuff might seem like relative happiness/unhappiness to us, but it also reminded me that I have the Mystic Law and let me realized how selfish I had been for a while. A pretty long while. With the Gohonzon, there's no reason to doubt.

The reason why I hadn't been blogging isn't because I wish to fake a happy-all-the-time identity virtually. I know how many pages my complaints and grumbling can fill up this blog. And I didn't want to leave these unhappy memories down for readers. The world is sad enough for pessimists. There's no need to add more to it.

The following passage is "kop-ed" from mx's blog. I can't say it better myself.
"Life is really about moments I realize. Day in Day Out, People talk about crucial moments. I know the crucial moment for me has arrived. Time to take action. Rejection may not necessary be a bad thing but everything start from scratch again , for me at least!! I can honestly tell myself that I want a break VERY VERY BADLY!!! Not trying to be emo but I been feeling quite lonely and super tired nowadays. Missing out on plenty of things. TRAINING TRAINING, MX shall not be defeated by all of these rubbish. If your stomach is full, you cannot practise faith correctly. Winter never fails to turn to spring."

I cannot allow the three poisons of greed, anger and foolishness
take over my life.
I'll be stronger.

Thanks, <3
:)

I'm not going to hold on to them any longer.
This is my absolute happiness. I've found the solution.
This time, I've learnt to let go..